Day 23--Saturday, August 4 11 AM Community Class
I took my daughter to class with me today for the monthly community class. She is 14 and her back has been hurting her for a few days, so I lured her into class with assurances that it would feel better after class. I am not sure if it does or not. She said it doesn't, but I was watching her in class and she was able to do more situps as class went on. So, I think she did feel some loosening in there.
It was so much fun bringing her to class! It felt like I had a teddy bear with me. It took my attention off how miserable I was (no more miserable than usual, but you know...it's ALWAYS somewhat miserable in Bikram yoga classes, even on the best of days) and gave me someone to focus on sending positive energy to.
Having my daughter there did make me get out of my "migrating across the room" project for one day. And if I can convince her to come back tomorrow, I will not continue tomorrow, either. We set up in the back corner, near the door, where I thought it would be cooler but not right up in front.
Is it just me, or did the teacher open the door and window more than usual because it was a community class? Or was he just opening it up because it is in the 90s outside and he could save on heat? :)
Tomorrow is forecasted to be the hottest day of the year so far in Portland (not saying much...we have been untouched by the record-breaking weather this summer--knock on wood) so I am going to the 9 AM class before it gets godawful. We don't have AC so I do not want to come home from hot yoga to my warm house at 6 PM if I were to go to the 4:30 class.
Only 78 more days to go!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Day 19: Tuesday, July 31 4:30 class
Day 20: Wednesday, August 1 4:30 class
Day 21: Thursday, August 2 4:30 class
Day 22: Friday, August 3 9:00 AM class
Well, well, well. I have been a bad blogger but a good yoga student. Four days of practice and no updates! At this point, it will be impossible to remember specifics of any class but today's, so I will consolidate.
I am continuing my hot, sweaty odyssey across the hot room. You may recall that I was getting too attached to my comfy spot near the door (where it is a well-known fact at the studio--it's cooler!). I finally got across the front row on Thursday. I set up in the very far front corner, where you can see yourself in the corner mirrors. So you have three views of your body--full frontal, full side, and then a three-quarters view in the corner. It is interesting, distracting, and humbling.
I kept sneaking peeks at myself in the side and three-quarters views. I was happy with some of my postures (half moon--I am down deep! and in bow, I had a better backbend than I thought I had) but in others, I was feeling like, I didn't know I looked like that! I think that was especially obvious in the forward pulling posture that you do just before spine twist at the very end of class (sorry, I don't know its official name). My back is totally curled and it should be straight. So I am making it a project to stay higher, not stretch forward, and keep my chest and chin lifted. I *thought* I was doing that, but I the mirror can't lie. It just felt like I was. I really was not.
So after I made it across the front row, I am now working my way across the second row. This was intentionally planned so that I will be further from the mirror. It is noticeably hotter in the second row, because it is closer to the heaters. And it is farther from the mirror, which makes balancing harder. I don't wear my glasses in class (for obvious reasons) so I can't see myself as well back there.
But though it made it harder, I actually did not feel like it really impacted my actual balance. In fact, in standing bow pulling posture I am getting much, much better form. One of our teachers recently told us that you should kick before coming down, and I have been working on that, and I think it helps balance considerably.
Also, I have started kicking out a minuscule amount on my right standing leg in standing head to knee pose. My left leg actually hurts to lock, so it will be a while before I am ready to try that side. But it is sooooo boring to just stand there with no reward, no glory, just the challenge of locking the knee and keeping it locked. And it hurts and it is boring and it sucks. And all around me I see people kicking out on bent knees, and I used to do that too. And it was a hell of a lot more fun to do that! But "if your standing knee is bending, the posture she is over!" So I am patiently working on that. On the studio message board, it said this morning "Climb Mount Fuji, O snail, but slowly, slowly." That is my standing knee's motto right now. I almost feel like I am goig BACKWARD in getting the knee locked. But I bet there is something happening in there.
I just trust the sequence and the process so implicitly, because it feels like it MUST lead you to improve if you patiently and faithfully follow the instructions. Rome wasn't built in a day. But maybe I can be re-built enough to make this worth it, in 101 days.
Only 79 more days to go!
I am one-fifth through with this challenge. It's getting a little draining emotionally. But I am making good friends at the studio who are keeping me happy. Even though they don't know about my secret challenge.
Day 20: Wednesday, August 1 4:30 class
Day 21: Thursday, August 2 4:30 class
Day 22: Friday, August 3 9:00 AM class
Well, well, well. I have been a bad blogger but a good yoga student. Four days of practice and no updates! At this point, it will be impossible to remember specifics of any class but today's, so I will consolidate.
I am continuing my hot, sweaty odyssey across the hot room. You may recall that I was getting too attached to my comfy spot near the door (where it is a well-known fact at the studio--it's cooler!). I finally got across the front row on Thursday. I set up in the very far front corner, where you can see yourself in the corner mirrors. So you have three views of your body--full frontal, full side, and then a three-quarters view in the corner. It is interesting, distracting, and humbling.
I kept sneaking peeks at myself in the side and three-quarters views. I was happy with some of my postures (half moon--I am down deep! and in bow, I had a better backbend than I thought I had) but in others, I was feeling like, I didn't know I looked like that! I think that was especially obvious in the forward pulling posture that you do just before spine twist at the very end of class (sorry, I don't know its official name). My back is totally curled and it should be straight. So I am making it a project to stay higher, not stretch forward, and keep my chest and chin lifted. I *thought* I was doing that, but I the mirror can't lie. It just felt like I was. I really was not.
So after I made it across the front row, I am now working my way across the second row. This was intentionally planned so that I will be further from the mirror. It is noticeably hotter in the second row, because it is closer to the heaters. And it is farther from the mirror, which makes balancing harder. I don't wear my glasses in class (for obvious reasons) so I can't see myself as well back there.
But though it made it harder, I actually did not feel like it really impacted my actual balance. In fact, in standing bow pulling posture I am getting much, much better form. One of our teachers recently told us that you should kick before coming down, and I have been working on that, and I think it helps balance considerably.
Also, I have started kicking out a minuscule amount on my right standing leg in standing head to knee pose. My left leg actually hurts to lock, so it will be a while before I am ready to try that side. But it is sooooo boring to just stand there with no reward, no glory, just the challenge of locking the knee and keeping it locked. And it hurts and it is boring and it sucks. And all around me I see people kicking out on bent knees, and I used to do that too. And it was a hell of a lot more fun to do that! But "if your standing knee is bending, the posture she is over!" So I am patiently working on that. On the studio message board, it said this morning "Climb Mount Fuji, O snail, but slowly, slowly." That is my standing knee's motto right now. I almost feel like I am goig BACKWARD in getting the knee locked. But I bet there is something happening in there.
I just trust the sequence and the process so implicitly, because it feels like it MUST lead you to improve if you patiently and faithfully follow the instructions. Rome wasn't built in a day. But maybe I can be re-built enough to make this worth it, in 101 days.
Only 79 more days to go!
I am one-fifth through with this challenge. It's getting a little draining emotionally. But I am making good friends at the studio who are keeping me happy. Even though they don't know about my secret challenge.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Day 17--Sunday, July 29
4:30 PM class
Today's class went great. Chloe was teaching, and I really like her teaching. She is calm, clear, and she takes time to explain things that we aren't getting.
I am really concentrating on locking my knee and it is hard work! In pranayama breathing, you are supposed to keep your knees locked and your chest lifted and spine straight. I am trying to do that better. In forehead to knee forward fold, I can lock my knees for the slightest few seconds. One time Michael yelled over to me, "Tina, you are almost there! Lock your knees!" while I was in that posture, and I did it, and I literally sang out a weird sound. Michael said, "That was the sound of her hamstrings singing." He is so funny.
In Awkward, I am trying to stay higher in the second part where you are on your toes. I tend to sink too low in the "chair" which is too easy. Michael called me out on it the other day. The teachers are starting to correct me more often; I don't know if it is because I am getting better and need to puch myself more, or if they just know my name because I am the weirdo who comes every day. (They don't know that I officially challenged myself yet.)
In Eagle, I am working on getting my toes and ankle to touch on my standing leg, and also getting my upper body to lean back more and more weight in the heel.
In standing forehead to knee...my nemesis...I am still just standing there trying to lock my standing knee an suck in my belly. It is HARD. All around me I see people kicking out on a wobbly or bent leg, and I am just standing there, hardly wobbling, hardly bending, but NOT locked for a full minute. I have to continually un-wobble and re-lock my knee (and, honestly, ankle, too). Oh well, I hope that this gives a solid foundation for later. I hope it is worth it, because it is hard and boring.
In standing bow pulling posture, I am also working on locking the standing leg. I can balance waay better than I used to, though.
In standing separate leg stretching, I can get my forehead to touch the floor. I am working on getting it back BETWEEN my heels and rolling the body weight forward into my toes. Chloe showed us the difference between rolling the weight forward and keeping it in your whole foot, and the spine cannot straighten downward if you don't roll forward. It was amazing to see the difference in her posture, with her super-flexible body.
In triangle, I am working on locking the straight knee and really stretching up with the upper arm. I can almost feel something moving in my lower back, and it is going to feel awesome one day when that part of my life opens up. It takes work, though, to get to those places that are not open, and to work them open.
I hate standing separate leg head to knee pose. I think that most folks like it, and it is like a little relief to them after triangle, but not me. I always seem to get sweat in my nose for one. It feels like when you get water up your nose while swimming. Eww. Plus I cannot get my hands to stay in prayer. I can lock both knees, albeit briefly. I don't know why exactly I hate this posture. I am just always glad when it's ovaah!
In tree, I am working on my shoulders and hips being in one line, especially when standing on my left leg. And in toe stand, I am working on balancing on my toes. Duh. Isn't that the posture? :)
In savasana, I am working on meditating. I find my mind wandering more often than not. It helps to focus on a spot halfway between my head and the ceiling. But it takes so much concentration to maintain that gaze that I get bored.
One last thing. In the second-to-last posture, where you are stretching out one leg at an angle and the other one is bent in and you put your forehead to your knee that is out and lock that knee and roll in towards that side, Chloe called me out and said, "Tina, don't try to roll in any more. Work on squeezing your elbows to your calf muscle now." I guess I am there in the rolling in department. Now if I can just get there in the locked knee department. Of course, I read a quote from Bikram somewhere that said, "When you die, I will be on your grave jumping up and down, screaming, 'Lock the knee'!" So I guess it is a life-long pursuit. Sigh.
Today I am going to class at 4:30 or 6:30 depending on when this guy shows up to fix our oven.
Only 84 more days to go!
4:30 PM class
Today's class went great. Chloe was teaching, and I really like her teaching. She is calm, clear, and she takes time to explain things that we aren't getting.
I am really concentrating on locking my knee and it is hard work! In pranayama breathing, you are supposed to keep your knees locked and your chest lifted and spine straight. I am trying to do that better. In forehead to knee forward fold, I can lock my knees for the slightest few seconds. One time Michael yelled over to me, "Tina, you are almost there! Lock your knees!" while I was in that posture, and I did it, and I literally sang out a weird sound. Michael said, "That was the sound of her hamstrings singing." He is so funny.
In Awkward, I am trying to stay higher in the second part where you are on your toes. I tend to sink too low in the "chair" which is too easy. Michael called me out on it the other day. The teachers are starting to correct me more often; I don't know if it is because I am getting better and need to puch myself more, or if they just know my name because I am the weirdo who comes every day. (They don't know that I officially challenged myself yet.)
In Eagle, I am working on getting my toes and ankle to touch on my standing leg, and also getting my upper body to lean back more and more weight in the heel.
In standing forehead to knee...my nemesis...I am still just standing there trying to lock my standing knee an suck in my belly. It is HARD. All around me I see people kicking out on a wobbly or bent leg, and I am just standing there, hardly wobbling, hardly bending, but NOT locked for a full minute. I have to continually un-wobble and re-lock my knee (and, honestly, ankle, too). Oh well, I hope that this gives a solid foundation for later. I hope it is worth it, because it is hard and boring.
In standing bow pulling posture, I am also working on locking the standing leg. I can balance waay better than I used to, though.
In standing separate leg stretching, I can get my forehead to touch the floor. I am working on getting it back BETWEEN my heels and rolling the body weight forward into my toes. Chloe showed us the difference between rolling the weight forward and keeping it in your whole foot, and the spine cannot straighten downward if you don't roll forward. It was amazing to see the difference in her posture, with her super-flexible body.
In triangle, I am working on locking the straight knee and really stretching up with the upper arm. I can almost feel something moving in my lower back, and it is going to feel awesome one day when that part of my life opens up. It takes work, though, to get to those places that are not open, and to work them open.
I hate standing separate leg head to knee pose. I think that most folks like it, and it is like a little relief to them after triangle, but not me. I always seem to get sweat in my nose for one. It feels like when you get water up your nose while swimming. Eww. Plus I cannot get my hands to stay in prayer. I can lock both knees, albeit briefly. I don't know why exactly I hate this posture. I am just always glad when it's ovaah!
In tree, I am working on my shoulders and hips being in one line, especially when standing on my left leg. And in toe stand, I am working on balancing on my toes. Duh. Isn't that the posture? :)
In savasana, I am working on meditating. I find my mind wandering more often than not. It helps to focus on a spot halfway between my head and the ceiling. But it takes so much concentration to maintain that gaze that I get bored.
One last thing. In the second-to-last posture, where you are stretching out one leg at an angle and the other one is bent in and you put your forehead to your knee that is out and lock that knee and roll in towards that side, Chloe called me out and said, "Tina, don't try to roll in any more. Work on squeezing your elbows to your calf muscle now." I guess I am there in the rolling in department. Now if I can just get there in the locked knee department. Of course, I read a quote from Bikram somewhere that said, "When you die, I will be on your grave jumping up and down, screaming, 'Lock the knee'!" So I guess it is a life-long pursuit. Sigh.
Today I am going to class at 4:30 or 6:30 depending on when this guy shows up to fix our oven.
Only 84 more days to go!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Day 14--Thursday, July 25
9:00 AM class
Today's class seemed har to me. I think it is because I am actually getting stronger so the postures are more challenging, but still, it doesn't *feel* any better when you are struggling so much.
I did manage to lock my knees for a split second in the warm-up hands to feet pose. That was hard! I also did some good backbending in the warm-up and felt a great pop in my upper neck in Eagle pose (which I love, by te way). Actually, I just love the warm-up. I kind of hate Awkward, but the warm-up as a series of postures makes me feel so good. Sometimes when I have low motivation to get to class I'll be like, "Just go and do the warm-up and them lie in savasana the rest of the time." Ha! Like I could ever really let myself do that! But it is these little mind games that keep me coming back.
It just felt super hot in class today, and difficult to brathe. I had a Thai massage yesterday, so maybe that made class harder too...because things were extra-loosened up (and sore) from yoga and massage yesterday.
Thai massage is so awesome, though! It's like yoga, but you let someone else pull you into place. Yum.
Only 87 more days to go!
9:00 AM class
Today's class seemed har to me. I think it is because I am actually getting stronger so the postures are more challenging, but still, it doesn't *feel* any better when you are struggling so much.
I did manage to lock my knees for a split second in the warm-up hands to feet pose. That was hard! I also did some good backbending in the warm-up and felt a great pop in my upper neck in Eagle pose (which I love, by te way). Actually, I just love the warm-up. I kind of hate Awkward, but the warm-up as a series of postures makes me feel so good. Sometimes when I have low motivation to get to class I'll be like, "Just go and do the warm-up and them lie in savasana the rest of the time." Ha! Like I could ever really let myself do that! But it is these little mind games that keep me coming back.
It just felt super hot in class today, and difficult to brathe. I had a Thai massage yesterday, so maybe that made class harder too...because things were extra-loosened up (and sore) from yoga and massage yesterday.
Thai massage is so awesome, though! It's like yoga, but you let someone else pull you into place. Yum.
Only 87 more days to go!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Day 12--Tuesday, July 24 4:30 PM class
Day 13--Wednesday, July 25 9:00 AM class
On Tuesday, I totally MEANT to update the blog. I mean, I slacked on Sunday and had to do a two-class update on Monday, so I would hate to make that a habit, right? So what happened?
Hmm, let me think back. At this point, life is one sweaty Bikram-flavored blur. Hmm, yesterday. It does not help that I am also off for the summer and just got the Sims Freeplay. It is suking my will to leave my iPad. But I will strive to get back to yesterday's class...4:30...oh, yes! The cute little girl!
There was the awesomest little girl in class on Tuesday. She was 9 years old and a real trooper. I loved having her practicing in my corner of the room (the cool corner by the door, of course, where pregnant women, litle kids, and wimpies like me tend to glom together hoping for a breeze)!
She was an inspiration to me all class long. I tried to be extra-happy in class, though that is not really a major stretch. I smile and giggle tons in class on a regular basis. Sometimes I just feel like screaming, "I loooove yoga class!" when I walk into the studio. Sometimes I just feel so proud of myself that I just smile during a posture. Sometimes I guess I am just delirious from the heat melting my brain. Sometimes--let's be honest here--I am just "faking it till I make it". I am especially prone to do this before Camel. I love Camel, but it is a little scary nonetheless, so every bit of positive energy helps. Now, if I can only get myself to smile before Wheel! But, really, I am generally a happy yoga student. I feel like it makes class easier for myself and others who might see me having a good time (or at least pretending to) and get happier themselves. Plus, I feel so incredibly fortunate that I am in a spot in life where I can afford the time, money, and energy to practice yoga every day, and I have the happy fortune of living in yoga-crazy Portland where there are two Bikram studios I could walk to from my house. So many people would love to be in that situation, and I am happy and grateful that I am in it, so I generally smile, smile, smile.
But yesterday I tried to be extra-happy, for the little girl's sake. I am a teacher, and I thought, "I hope that this little girl thinks that when adults get together with their teacher for class, we are happy and it is lots of fun." I guess I was just hoping to help show this kid the joy of life-long learning.
Plus I helped her with her Camel. Her knees were together. I made eye contact with her in the mirror, reached down between my own regulation six-inch knees, and kind of waved my hand knowingly (if that is possible) between them as if to say, "Air should be there." And she got it. She corrected herself. It felt great. Maybe one day I will be a yoga teacher. Nah. Teacher training sounds like heck on earth to me.
After class yesterday, I came home and watered my new, beautiful plants in a post-yoga glow. Then husband, parents-in-law, and I went out for dinner. I was in a great mood. Better than I usually am with the PILs. Yay yoga.
OK, today. Today was not such a swell class. It was ass-hard, actually. I felt dizzier more oftener than I ever have. Why is that, you ask? WEll, I have my theories.
1. I had a pint of beer and some assorted tasters at Widmer last night. That was quite a bit of alcohol, and I drank no H2O with it either. Silly me.
2. I got an iPad. This caused me to stay up late (like 2 AM late) playing the Sims Freeplay. It is a major time-waster that would probably never gt a second thought during the school year, but hey, it's summer.
3. I got a new pillow? Lame, I know, but I am looking for clues here, people. Like Sherlock. Tasty, tasty Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch, you are sooooooo hot. But I digress. But, Benedict, seriously, if you are reading this, you are soooooooo hot.
4. I did the "quasi-double" of 4:30 PM and then a 9 AM class. Indeed, my lord, it followed close upon. Like Hamlet's uncle marrying his mom so quickly.
5. I woke up late, not really planning to get to the 9 AM class, and kind of ran out the door (after checking on my Sims, of course!) later than normal, and GASP! did not get my comfy spot. Instead, I set up right. in. front. of. the. teacher. Eww. It was hot there. Not Benedict Cumberbatch hot, either. "I hate my life" hot.
I was dizzy during pranayama breathing, standing bow pulling, balancing stick (not triangle, oddly), and my new least-favorite posture, standing separate leg head to knee pose. I finally got my head to stop buzzing and my eyes to stop seeing grey spots during Tree. I managed to do all the sets, but I was late into them because I needed more breaths between them. It just seemed like the teacher was going so so fast. I am sure it was probably just me. See my list of theories above. Please remind me in the future not to combine all those bad things in one day.
In good news, I have not smoked a single cigarette since June 25. It is my one-mnth anniversary. Yes, if you do the math, dear reader, you will see that I smoked after beginning Bikram. In my defense, I was not smoking much. I never did. At least not since I got pregnant in February of 1997 and stopped the pack a day habit I was nurturing in my wild and crazy college days. But after I had my daughter, a few years after, I kind of drifted back to smoking one or two a day. And I smoked one religiously on the way to school each morning. But about two weeks into practicing Bikram, I started getting this awful feeling in my lung and all this gross stuff came out, and...well, let's just say that it made me pretty disgusted by the thought of adding tar to the old lungs. The problem is now I credit my amazing feat (of quitting smoking that one cigarette a day, the one I thought I would keep on having till I died, cause, hey, it's just one, right? And I live reeeealllly healthy in general, right? So one tiny little smoke on the way to school can't hurt too much, right?) to Bikram's yoga. So I am scared to quit yoga because I might run back to smoking again. Time will tell. But for now, I am pleased that I do not feel the need to smoke at all. Of course, the trigger event is driving to school. And I will do that again on September 5. So that will be the test. However, I do have one thing going for me--the challenge will still be on then! Vive le yoga!
Only 88 more classes left to go!
Day 13--Wednesday, July 25 9:00 AM class
On Tuesday, I totally MEANT to update the blog. I mean, I slacked on Sunday and had to do a two-class update on Monday, so I would hate to make that a habit, right? So what happened?
Hmm, let me think back. At this point, life is one sweaty Bikram-flavored blur. Hmm, yesterday. It does not help that I am also off for the summer and just got the Sims Freeplay. It is suking my will to leave my iPad. But I will strive to get back to yesterday's class...4:30...oh, yes! The cute little girl!
There was the awesomest little girl in class on Tuesday. She was 9 years old and a real trooper. I loved having her practicing in my corner of the room (the cool corner by the door, of course, where pregnant women, litle kids, and wimpies like me tend to glom together hoping for a breeze)!
She was an inspiration to me all class long. I tried to be extra-happy in class, though that is not really a major stretch. I smile and giggle tons in class on a regular basis. Sometimes I just feel like screaming, "I loooove yoga class!" when I walk into the studio. Sometimes I just feel so proud of myself that I just smile during a posture. Sometimes I guess I am just delirious from the heat melting my brain. Sometimes--let's be honest here--I am just "faking it till I make it". I am especially prone to do this before Camel. I love Camel, but it is a little scary nonetheless, so every bit of positive energy helps. Now, if I can only get myself to smile before Wheel! But, really, I am generally a happy yoga student. I feel like it makes class easier for myself and others who might see me having a good time (or at least pretending to) and get happier themselves. Plus, I feel so incredibly fortunate that I am in a spot in life where I can afford the time, money, and energy to practice yoga every day, and I have the happy fortune of living in yoga-crazy Portland where there are two Bikram studios I could walk to from my house. So many people would love to be in that situation, and I am happy and grateful that I am in it, so I generally smile, smile, smile.
But yesterday I tried to be extra-happy, for the little girl's sake. I am a teacher, and I thought, "I hope that this little girl thinks that when adults get together with their teacher for class, we are happy and it is lots of fun." I guess I was just hoping to help show this kid the joy of life-long learning.
Plus I helped her with her Camel. Her knees were together. I made eye contact with her in the mirror, reached down between my own regulation six-inch knees, and kind of waved my hand knowingly (if that is possible) between them as if to say, "Air should be there." And she got it. She corrected herself. It felt great. Maybe one day I will be a yoga teacher. Nah. Teacher training sounds like heck on earth to me.
After class yesterday, I came home and watered my new, beautiful plants in a post-yoga glow. Then husband, parents-in-law, and I went out for dinner. I was in a great mood. Better than I usually am with the PILs. Yay yoga.
OK, today. Today was not such a swell class. It was ass-hard, actually. I felt dizzier more oftener than I ever have. Why is that, you ask? WEll, I have my theories.
1. I had a pint of beer and some assorted tasters at Widmer last night. That was quite a bit of alcohol, and I drank no H2O with it either. Silly me.
2. I got an iPad. This caused me to stay up late (like 2 AM late) playing the Sims Freeplay. It is a major time-waster that would probably never gt a second thought during the school year, but hey, it's summer.
3. I got a new pillow? Lame, I know, but I am looking for clues here, people. Like Sherlock. Tasty, tasty Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch, you are sooooooo hot. But I digress. But, Benedict, seriously, if you are reading this, you are soooooooo hot.
4. I did the "quasi-double" of 4:30 PM and then a 9 AM class. Indeed, my lord, it followed close upon. Like Hamlet's uncle marrying his mom so quickly.
5. I woke up late, not really planning to get to the 9 AM class, and kind of ran out the door (after checking on my Sims, of course!) later than normal, and GASP! did not get my comfy spot. Instead, I set up right. in. front. of. the. teacher. Eww. It was hot there. Not Benedict Cumberbatch hot, either. "I hate my life" hot.
I was dizzy during pranayama breathing, standing bow pulling, balancing stick (not triangle, oddly), and my new least-favorite posture, standing separate leg head to knee pose. I finally got my head to stop buzzing and my eyes to stop seeing grey spots during Tree. I managed to do all the sets, but I was late into them because I needed more breaths between them. It just seemed like the teacher was going so so fast. I am sure it was probably just me. See my list of theories above. Please remind me in the future not to combine all those bad things in one day.
In good news, I have not smoked a single cigarette since June 25. It is my one-mnth anniversary. Yes, if you do the math, dear reader, you will see that I smoked after beginning Bikram. In my defense, I was not smoking much. I never did. At least not since I got pregnant in February of 1997 and stopped the pack a day habit I was nurturing in my wild and crazy college days. But after I had my daughter, a few years after, I kind of drifted back to smoking one or two a day. And I smoked one religiously on the way to school each morning. But about two weeks into practicing Bikram, I started getting this awful feeling in my lung and all this gross stuff came out, and...well, let's just say that it made me pretty disgusted by the thought of adding tar to the old lungs. The problem is now I credit my amazing feat (of quitting smoking that one cigarette a day, the one I thought I would keep on having till I died, cause, hey, it's just one, right? And I live reeeealllly healthy in general, right? So one tiny little smoke on the way to school can't hurt too much, right?) to Bikram's yoga. So I am scared to quit yoga because I might run back to smoking again. Time will tell. But for now, I am pleased that I do not feel the need to smoke at all. Of course, the trigger event is driving to school. And I will do that again on September 5. So that will be the test. However, I do have one thing going for me--the challenge will still be on then! Vive le yoga!
Only 88 more classes left to go!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Day 10--Sunday, July 22 4:30 PM class
Day 11--Monday, July 23 9:00 AM class
Once again, I skipped a blogging day but not a yoga day. Yesterday I meant to get to the 9 AM class, but I woke up at 9:10 AM and the class was already 10 minutes underway. So, I happily rolled back over and spent some more quality time with my sheets, knowing that I would have to make it to the only other class at the studio, at 4:30 PM. I don't really like doing a PM class and turning around the next morning and going right back. It's kind of my version of a "double". Honestly, I am scared shirtless at the prospect of doing a real double, so I hope I never have to skip a day during this challenge and do a real double. PM and then AM is hard enough!
Sunday's 4:30 class was less crowded than the Saturday morning 9 AM class. But it was still a bigger group than I have gotten used to in the 9 AM weekday classes. I got there super-early to nab "my" spot. One of these days I will need to wean myself off that spot, but for now I am very happy there.
I much prefer to practice in the morning, because if I know all day that I have an afternoon class, I have to pay closer attention to my eating and water drinking patterns than I really want to all day long. Not that I usually spend all day eating Ho-Hos and drinking Pabst...though that does sound kinda good right now. I just like to stop eating like 4 or 5 hours before class, so for a 4:30 class that means--egad!--no lunch after 11:30 or so. Kinda puts a crimp in yer sunny-Sunday-afternoon socializin' if you know what I mean.
Sunday was a nice class, regardless of all that. It felt short and sweet and easy. No "get me out of here" moments...or at least not memorable ones. Balance was OK, breathing normal, throat choked. Then I came home and ate lamb shanks with husband and parents-in-law. And drank some red wine. Yum. Then we watched the latest episode of Breaking Bad. How I missed it. I chugged some water and went to bed, knowing that I had a 9 AM class today.
This morning was another good, strong class. It felt cooler. It is SO WEIRD to me that the actual temp in the room is pretty much constant, but the perceived temp in my mind seems to vary by about 60 degrees. One day it feels like it must be at least 140 degrees, then the next day I would swear it's only around a nice pleasant 80. I wonder what it is. Hydration? Mental attitude? What? What can it beee?
In posture-related news, I am currently working on being able to lock my knee more in almost all the postures, and that is adding a lot more challenge to them. It is weird how at the very beginning of June when I started this yoga practice, I thought some of the postures were "not too hard" and now I see the challenge in them. I guess you need to settle into them and then start pushing yourself to see where the real challenges are. For instance, Rabbit pose used to be like a mini-vacation to me. I mean, really, look down, put your head on your towel, pull on your heels...easy, right? But now I am fine-tuning some stuff like really trying to keep my chin tucked, my shoulders lifted, and really puuuulling on my heels. That makes it a much harder posture. And then there is Standing Forehead to Knee. The first few classes, I swear, I easily kicked out and put my forehead on my knee. But BOTH of my legs were unlocked, because I did not know what that felt like. Now I am just working on locking my standing knee, and holding my other foot. I have learned that I cannot truly lock my standing knee for longer than about 30 seconds on the right and 15 seconds on the left. And that is on a GOOD day. :)
After class, I met with my business partner and had some very tasty granola. Post-yoga food is the best.
Only 90 days to go! I hear that the first 30 days are all about strength and getting used to the routine. Then the second 30 days are all about emotions being released. Uh, can't wait for that one. I have yet to cry in a posture...but maybe I will be in for it in late August. Then the last 41 days are supposed to really be about building a new body. Well, that sounds nice. I'll take..this one.
Day 11--Monday, July 23 9:00 AM class
Sunday's 4:30 class was less crowded than the Saturday morning 9 AM class. But it was still a bigger group than I have gotten used to in the 9 AM weekday classes. I got there super-early to nab "my" spot. One of these days I will need to wean myself off that spot, but for now I am very happy there.
I much prefer to practice in the morning, because if I know all day that I have an afternoon class, I have to pay closer attention to my eating and water drinking patterns than I really want to all day long. Not that I usually spend all day eating Ho-Hos and drinking Pabst...though that does sound kinda good right now. I just like to stop eating like 4 or 5 hours before class, so for a 4:30 class that means--egad!--no lunch after 11:30 or so. Kinda puts a crimp in yer sunny-Sunday-afternoon socializin' if you know what I mean.
Sunday was a nice class, regardless of all that. It felt short and sweet and easy. No "get me out of here" moments...or at least not memorable ones. Balance was OK, breathing normal, throat choked. Then I came home and ate lamb shanks with husband and parents-in-law. And drank some red wine. Yum. Then we watched the latest episode of Breaking Bad. How I missed it. I chugged some water and went to bed, knowing that I had a 9 AM class today.
This morning was another good, strong class. It felt cooler. It is SO WEIRD to me that the actual temp in the room is pretty much constant, but the perceived temp in my mind seems to vary by about 60 degrees. One day it feels like it must be at least 140 degrees, then the next day I would swear it's only around a nice pleasant 80. I wonder what it is. Hydration? Mental attitude? What? What can it beee?
In posture-related news, I am currently working on being able to lock my knee more in almost all the postures, and that is adding a lot more challenge to them. It is weird how at the very beginning of June when I started this yoga practice, I thought some of the postures were "not too hard" and now I see the challenge in them. I guess you need to settle into them and then start pushing yourself to see where the real challenges are. For instance, Rabbit pose used to be like a mini-vacation to me. I mean, really, look down, put your head on your towel, pull on your heels...easy, right? But now I am fine-tuning some stuff like really trying to keep my chin tucked, my shoulders lifted, and really puuuulling on my heels. That makes it a much harder posture. And then there is Standing Forehead to Knee. The first few classes, I swear, I easily kicked out and put my forehead on my knee. But BOTH of my legs were unlocked, because I did not know what that felt like. Now I am just working on locking my standing knee, and holding my other foot. I have learned that I cannot truly lock my standing knee for longer than about 30 seconds on the right and 15 seconds on the left. And that is on a GOOD day. :)
After class, I met with my business partner and had some very tasty granola. Post-yoga food is the best.
Only 90 days to go! I hear that the first 30 days are all about strength and getting used to the routine. Then the second 30 days are all about emotions being released. Uh, can't wait for that one. I have yet to cry in a posture...but maybe I will be in for it in late August. Then the last 41 days are supposed to really be about building a new body. Well, that sounds nice. I'll take..this one.
Google "Megan Fox abs" and this is what you get. :)
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Day 9--Saturday, July 21, 2012
9:00 AM class
Today's class was crowded! There were a lot of new folks and lots of regulars too. I counted 38 mats plus one instructor--39 people in the room. It was mat to mat yoga community! Sometimes I like it crowded, though. It is somehow more fun with so many people. At times, though, when I am having a hard day, I don't like it crowded. It's too much to deal with on top of yoga being hard. But today was a good, fun, relatively easy class, and all the jostling and moving around each other did not bother me in the least.
For some reason, lately I have been having problems with my balance in the second part of Awkward, when you are supposed to go up on your toes like a ballerina. I keep falling off my toes. I think it is because recently I was corrected in the posture because I was going down too far ('cause it is EASIER when you sit low!) and getting my hips below my knees' height. I am now trying to balance higher, which I think is throwing me off.
Last night as I was lying in bed, I kind of adjusted my hips and POP! Something really opened up in my low back/hips. It felt awesome. I just keep waiting for the day when my whole spine goes pop pop pop and just opens into place. It just feel like if I keep up the yoga, one day that will happen. Maybe not as dramatically as I envision it, but I know that things are getting realigned in there. It just feels better and better each day.
I've been really into smoothies after class lately. Today I had a coffee-yogurt-flax seed-vanilla-salt-frozen banana-ice-ghiradelli unsweet chocolate mixture in the yard. Ahh summer!!
Only 92 more classes to go! :)
Day 8--Friday, July 20 7 AM class
I had never taken class at 7 AM before today. I took a 5:30 AM class once, right at the end of the school year, because we had the twice-a-year hell schedule for parent-teacher conferences: 8 AM to 8 PM. So I could NOT make it to any classes at my normal studio, and I went to a 5:30 AM at the studio close to my house. But today I tried the 7 AM at my normal studio. There were about 10 people in class. It felt really mellow.
In the early morning classes, I feel like I have more concentration and less flexibility. Having so few people in the room really helps my concentration too. No shuffling mats and positioning yourself around others' bodies. Just tons of empty space around your reflection in the mirror.
I continue to be OK with the spine strengthening series. This is weird to me. It's always been the worst part of class for me, so I am glad that it feels easier these days. Of course, that s probably because I gained some strength in my spine...and I am sure that next time my spine goes through a strengthening spurt, the series will get difficult again. It seems that is how this yoga works--different parts of the series float in and out of "most hated" status, depending on what is going on inside my body.
It was nice to get home and have the rest of the day to enjoy without the logistics of getting to class.
Only 94 more classes to go! Ha ha!
I continue to be OK with the spine strengthening series. This is weird to me. It's always been the worst part of class for me, so I am glad that it feels easier these days. Of course, that s probably because I gained some strength in my spine...and I am sure that next time my spine goes through a strengthening spurt, the series will get difficult again. It seems that is how this yoga works--different parts of the series float in and out of "most hated" status, depending on what is going on inside my body.
It was nice to get home and have the rest of the day to enjoy without the logistics of getting to class.
Only 94 more classes to go! Ha ha!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Day 6--Wednesday, July 18 9:00 AM class
Day 7--Thursday, July 19 9:00 AM class
I skipped a day of posting, but not a day of yoga. However, at this point, the two classes are running together in my memory. I know that Wed. I set up in "my" spot right by door in front so I can see the mirror and Thurs. someone else was in "my" spot and so I set up in front close to the teacher's platform. It was hotter there, or maybe that was my imagination.
I remember that Wednesday's class was the last class on my Groupon. And Thursday's class was the first on my Living Social voucher. I loaded up on a lot of deals when they were running them. I also have a Groupon for an unlimited month of yoga at the studio I have been frequenting since I first took their community (free) class on June 2. Then I have two vouchers for two other yoga studios--one for 10 classes ad one for 20. Then I plan to do an intro month at a studio right down the street from my house, and then I have a Chinook Book coupon for 50% for that studio. That will bring me up to December, when my old gym membership is available to cancel, so I plan on canceling it then and joining a studio. I need to decide between the one I am going to now (which I LOVE because of the awesome people, mainly) and the one near my house (which is all new and shiny and like an 8-min. walk away from home and also has a 5:30 AM class).
I am now off to a 7 AM class. I may be crazy, but I am going to this class so I can go to a "regular" yoga class at 9 AM at my gym with a pal from my husband's bar. I wonder what that will feel like after a class of Bikram yoga. More later.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Day 5--Tuesday, July 17, 2012
9 AM class
Today was a great class. My balance was back, and I was even able to hold Standing Bow Pulling for about 15 seconds on my left side, and for an entire 30 seconds (the second set) on the right. Class flew by, and I even found myself thinking, "OK, Universe, bring on the spine strengthening series." Wha? I usually dread that part of class. I felt some amazing twinges and pops in several of the postures, so I know that things are getting realigned, shifted, healed, and rebuilt in there.
After every class, I feel like I have undone some past mistakes in my body--smoking too much, drinking too much, eating too much, misalignments, old tensions, old resentments, old sadnesses. Slowly, slowly, this yoga changes you from the inside out. I just wish I had found it hen I was 16 instead of 36. Oh well. You're never too old...
Off to a plant sale with my best friend. Ahh, summer!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Day 4--Monday, July 16, 2012
9:00 AM class
I finally had an easier class! No class is truly "easy" since it is always a major challenge to me just getting through the series, especially the hardest (to me, right now) part--Cobra, Half Locust, Full Locust, and Wheel. But today was way easier than Saturday and Sunday. It was less humid outside, and several classmates commented that yesterday was harder for them too, so maybe it was just weather-related. Having 24 hours between yesterday's class at 9 AM and today's probably helped, too. Saturday and Sunday were too close for comfort. I am not probably going to be one of the challenge folks who ever does a double. At least right now I cannot imagine spending 3 hours in one day practicing.
Besides not wanting to run out of the room today, there were some other good points. I managed to touch my forehead to the floor again today in Standing Separate Leg Stretching. My next goal is to get more weight onto my toes, roll forward, and touch my forehead BETWEEN my heels. It is somewhere nearer to my toes right now. I also managed to hold Standing Bow Pulling on the right side for a whole 30 seconds in the second set. I think I even had my right knee locked most of that time too. Standing Forehead to Knee is still tough for me--my current goal in that posture is to just stand with one foot in my hand and the standing knee locked, truly locked, for 1 min. My ankle is really wobbly in that posture, too, and I think it will need to be lots more solid before I can truly kick out with any integrity in the posture.
I am also having trouble with my backbend during the warm-up series. I inhale deeply, drop my head back, then push my fingers back, but I seem to lose my breath really easily. Maybe I am "collapsing" into my back, or maybe it is fear. I can see what feels to me like waaay down the back wall, and that is a little scary and intense. But I love love love doing backbends, so I am not sure if it is more physical, like I am squishing my lungs somehow.
It feels great to go to class in the morning and then have the rest of the day to feel great!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Day 3--Sunday, July 15
Ever have a class where you keep telling yourself that you are not going to do the next posture, but you find yourself just doing it anyway, like a demented Bikram robot, and you are not sure why you keep at it when your mind is screaming at you to just lie down, or better yet--get the hell out of the room?
Well, this morning was that kind of class. I am not sure why, but I have a sneaking feeling it had something to do with not wearing my lucky swimsuit. I have been wearing the same black-and-white swimsuit for every class since my third class ever. It is just a swimsuit, but it looks enough like a fancy-dancy yoga leotard that I feel very yogified in it. I am too cheap to purchase a special yoga-tard, but I do have my eye on this one.
Too bad it is 48 bucks. Maybe one day I will break down and get it. But for now, my good ole swimsuit is serving me well. But this morning, I went downstairs to find my washing machine had not finished the cycle. We just had some work done on our electrical panel (in preparation for our FIRST-EVER dishwasher in 15 years of marriage!) and the switch to the washer was tripped. So, I wore my trusty running shorts and one of those tank tops with the bras inside them.
Maybe I should not blame the washing machine for my hard class. Maybe it was the humidity. It was very humid in Portland this morning, and that seems to impact my enjoyment of class since the room feels hotter and moister. Or maybe it was the beer (yes, the ONE beer) I drank last night. Or the hot dog I ate after class. Or the fact that yesterday I practiced at 4:30 PM and then went right back this morning at 9 AM. Or maybe it was just negative energy I brought in because I was worried about my washing machine and a hard conversation I had with a good, good friend yesterday.
Whatever it was, class was haaaard. I kept telling myself, "Just get through this next posture and then you can lie in savasana for the rest of the class," and then the posture would come and go and I would do it all over again with the next posture. That was the mind game I had to play with myself the Whole. 90. Minutes. I kid you not. I started it in Pranayama Breathing and kept it up through the final spine twist. I was so glad when it was over and the first person left the room and I got a tiny puff of delicious, normal-temperature air on me.
One weird thing I noticed was that I even though I was hot as all get-out, I kept feeling this electrically-charged prickly, almost cold feeling moving all over the surface of my body. It's probably a good sign that things are getting ironed out in there, and that the nerves are waking up, but it was almost nauseating to feel soooo hot throughout my whole core and also chilled on the skin at the same time.
Well, it was a hard class, a hot class, and a mind-games class. But honestly, I felt double good when it was over. I guess you get out what you put in. And today I put in a lot of mental stuff. Overcoming my own desire to lie down, take it really easy, or run screaming out of the room. I looked at my face in the rear-view mirror on the way home, and I looked so happy that I pulled the car over and took my own picture.
Maybe if I look at this picture next time I don't want to go to class, I can remember that no matter how hard the class is, the feeling afterward is totally worth it.
Plus, my husband got the washer running, so tomorrow I'll have my lucky swimsuit again!
Day 2--Saturday, July 14
I got to the studio nice n' early and set up in my favorite spot. I like to be near the door and in the front row. It's not because I like having other yogis looking at me during class; it's because I can't balance without looking myself directly in the eyes.
Even so, my balance was off today. It was off yesterday as well. I feel like I am still having re-entry bumps. My left side is always harder to balance on, but today it was nigh-well impossible. Especially during Standing Bow Pulling. I fell out like literally five times during the first set on the left leg. I was bummed, too, because I could feel this tendon in the back of my neck just begging me to hold the posture and stretch it out. It was twinging and tingling whenever I managed to hold the posture for a few seconds.
The studio owner said to me before I left for Georgia that sometimes when we take a break, and then we come back, our bodies surprise us and they have somehow "assimilated" the changes and they work in a different way. I found a couple of postures much easier than I ever did before. I got my forehead to touch the floor for the first time ever in Standing Separate Leg Stretching! And in Rabbit, I was really able to feel much, much more of my spine stretching.
One thing that I am noticing is that I am breathing really heavy during certain sequences of postures. I always got out of breath during Balancing Stick, of course, and in the spine strengthening series. But today I felt my heart racing during Triangle, Rabbit, and the savasanas seemed soooooo short! I wonder if maybe I am getting stronger and therefore working more of my muscles during postures that I used to think were easy only because I was not deep enough into them.
Another not-so-easy class...but I tell myself that the harder it is, the more work it is doing in my body. I have to hang onto that or I will give up! And it is only 2 days into this challenge. And I am NOT GIVING UP...at least not yet!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Day 1: July 13, 2012
We had 13 students in class for the Friday the 13th class. The teacher said, "This is going to be weird!" I don't know if it was exactly weird, but it was a hard class for me.
It is hard to be back after taking a break since June 30. The room felt hotter than I remembered it. Of course, when I first started, the room felt suffocatingly hot, and then it got better as the month went on. I hope that will happen again. But Friday's class felt hot hot! I was sweating copiously, and my sweat did not smell "clean". Probably because I have been drinking and eating much tastier richer foods and beverages than normal during my trips to Georgia and San Francisco, and not sweating out the results.
As we put our chins to our knuckles to begin, I looked myself in the eye and thought, "OK, sister, you are in for it now. 101 days straight. What will you look like on October 21? What will you feel like?" I can only imagine how this challenge will change my body, brain, and spirit.
By the end of the first breathing exercise, I was pouring sweat off my body. In standing head to knee pose, my sweat was stinging my eyes, and running into my nose. I noticed that my hamstrings are way tighter than they were before my two-week Bikram break. But mainly what I noticed was my chattery brain. I pondered lying down during 85% of the postures. I had little mini-debates with myself on staying in the room. I found myself thinking about the next school year during savasana. What? I usually love the way my brain turns OFF during the 90 minute moving meditation. Maybe my brain needs retraining as well!
At the end of class, the teacher said, "Come back tomorrow!" And I thought, and every day for the next 99 days after that. But I did not say anything. No one but my mother and you, dear readers, knows about my decision to officially challenge myself.
I felt great after class, though, as usual. And I had my coconut water waiting for me in my little cooler in the car. Ahhh! This is why we kill ourselves in the hot room. To live better outside of it!
More tomorrow.
Welcome!
I just discovered Bikram yoga on June 2, 2012. I tried hot yoga once, back in 2002, but I thought I hated it. I felt great after that one class, but then I could not walk for three days afterward. I wish I had read the great advice to return to class as soon as possible when you are a real beginner. This year, I heard and heeded that advice, and I did not miss a single day all month, practicing 27 straight days until I went out of town for two weeks. I sure missed the hot room while I was gone. But I'm back now and committed to practicing 101 times in the next 101 days. I just want to see what transformations happen in my body. There are some alignment issues I have been struggling with for years,which right now I feel are mainly in my neck, upper back, shoulders, and lower legs.
I am an avid "exerciser" and a recovering running addict. I just love the feeling I get when I am pushing myself physically on a regular basis. Last summer, I ran myself right into an overuse injury--shinsplints that I thought I could "run off" and instead landed myself in an MRI to see if I had stress fractures, they were so painful. I realized that my friend at work was right all along--I needed Bikram yoga. He saw that injury coming long before I did, and counseled me to cross train with yoga. I quickly discovered that this yoga makes me feel BETTER than running for 90 minutes. I never thought that could be possible. Plus, I can practice every day with no negative side effects on my body.
I have all but stopped running training since June 2 when I started practicing this yoga. I am not sure if I will feel like taking it up again as the challenge progresses. I am not too worried about my running conditioning suffering, though. On July 4, I ran the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta, GA, and did not feel sore or winded at all. Its just a 10K, but still. I had not run a step since I ran a half marathon on May 20. So I think that shows that this yoga will keep you in good condition even without running training. Maybe as the 101 days pass, I will feel like running a bit here and there. But my plan is to register for the Run Like Hell Half on the last day of the challenge to see if my conditioning will be OK for that challenge. Then I will go to the 4:30 PM class to finish off the challenge and stretch and recover.
Well, that is the plan and I am sticking to it. Let's gooooo!
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